How Chores Can Build Your Toddler's Independence, Confidence, and Language
I grew up hearing my mother say, “The family that works together, stays together.” As corny as this sounds, there’s some truth in it. Giving your toddler some simple, developmentally appropriate chores is a win-win!
Having your toddler clean up his or her mess gives them a productive role in the family, provides them with a sense of accomplishment, helps keep your sanity (especially during these unprecedented times) AND can even promote language learning.
One of my favorite parenting books is *How to Raise Kind Kids: And Get Respect, Gratitude, and a Happier Family in the Bargain which is written by developmental psychologist and professor, Thomas Lickona, Ph.D. Like many insightful non-fiction books, this is one you can repeatedly reference for nuggets of motivation and wisdom. Since this nightmare pandemic rocked our world, I’ve been keeping this book on my nightstand so I can pick it up when the mood strikes. But what does this book have to do with chores? A good amount, actually.
Dr. Lickona sites research supporting,
“the degree to which children were helpful to people inside and outside the family depended on the degree to which they were assigned responsibilities that contributed to the maintenance of their family (page 23).”
He goes on to write, “Our children won’t become responsible unless they have responsibility. And like everything else, that starts in the home.”
*Amazon Affiliate link included for your convenience.
Most of us are motivated to raise kind kids but did you ever see the connection between giving them chores or small responsibilities to helping them develop certain character traits?
The benefits to having children participate in household chores doesn’t stop at creating kind humans and making parents more sane - household chores also provide opportunities for language development!!
Examples of developmentally appropriate household chores for toddlers are:
put toys and books away
sort laundry
put dirty clothes in the washer
spray and clean the table before dinner
water plants
get mail from the mailbox
How Chores Help Develop Language Skills:
Vocabulary and combining words
Chores introduce toddlers to new words that they can add to their vocabulary. Some words include: clean, spray, broom, laundry, wipe, wet, sticky, messy, sloppy, etc. In addition to new vocabulary words, toddlers learn how to combine these words and their corresponding actions. Toddlers begin to piece together nouns and verbs such as “wash clothes”, “towel wipes” or “broom sweeps”. Word combination is extremely important in language development, and doing chores is a great way to provide exposure in a structured, functional, and concrete manner.
My friend Becky acknowledged how having her two and a half year old son pitch in with some tasks around the house, while his older sister participated in a school zoom call, kept Nate busy and allowed her to quickly tidy up! Even though Nate wasn’t a highly efficient or effective cleaner, he enjoyed spraying the Method cleaner and wiping down the table (“Spray, I spray! My turn!”)
2. Following directions
When first introducing your child to a new chore, give them clear and simple directions. “First, pick up the toys and put them in the bin. Next, sweep the floor with the broom.” (We will get more into sequencing in the next point). Understanding and following directions is an important language skill for toddlers to develop.
3. Sequencing
In the previous example we used the words “first” and “next” to break up directions. These sequencers indicate the correct order of completing a task. Sequencing helps with the development of organizational skills. For toddlers who have difficulty memorizing a sequence try introducing some visuals or pictures to help.
4. Routine
Routines are essential in providing consistency and predictability in daily life. Daily or weekly chores help establish routines for your children because they create predictable expectations. Repetition of chores allows for practice and multiple opportunities to acquire a new skill or word.
Every family dynamic is different, and families can have different expectations for household work. How can you incorporate your toddler into your household chores?
Tips on Helping Children Do Chores:
Start with simple manageable tasks
Start by showing your toddler what you’re doing, explaining each action you complete. Encourage them to join you, guiding them through the chore until they are able to do it on their own. This simple approach slowly guides your child to complete a chore on their own.
2. Use a chore calendar and fun incentives
A chore calendar organizes each family member’s chores, making it easy to see what needs to be done and when. It keeps everyone accountable for their jobs around the house. Include fun incentives to encourage your children to complete their chores, such as their favorite dessert at the end of the week. I created these chore and tasks charts for my children:
Chore/Task Chart
for my 3-year-old
Chore/Task Chart
for my 8-year-old
3. Use visuals for gentle reminders and extra support
Instead of constantly repeating yourself, “Henry, hang up your coat. Did you hang up your coat? Hang up your coat PLEASE!” Draw a picture or make a visual using powerpoint or whatever paper and writing utensils available to draw a picture. This is what I created for my children in our basement entrance from the garage:
3. Have FUN!
Most importantly, remember to have fun while you do chores! Listen to some music and dance while cleaning the living room or make a fun game while folding laundry. Show your children that chores can be fun when done together.
It’s inevitable that your child will resist chores sometime, but those are the most important times to enforce them. It shows them that even when they don’t feel up to it, they still must complete their job. They have a sense of accountability and responsibility, which they will thank you for one day.
Check out my book, My Toddler’s First Words! I write more about the importance of verbs and give step-by-step instructions to help you jumpstart your toddler’s language- see pages 14, 15, 22, and 28 - 30. Part 2 in my book helps you to analyze and consider your toddler's communication needs and abilities so you can appropriately target verbs! For play routines to stimulate early language skills AND learn how to do play routines, please see My Toddler Talks! *Amazon Affiliate links included for your convenience.
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